Pain

Pain, my constant companion,
As vast as the Grand Canyon.
The pain is never ceasing,
My desperation ever increasing.

Gabapentin does not work,
It’s my anatomical quirk.
Perhaps I’ll increase the dose,
Now I’m feeling morose.

No longer can I take the pain,
From overdosing I try to abstain.
I have a strong compunction,
To lose my logical function.

Cessation of pain is a fool’s dream,
Soon I expect an unending scream.
Phantom pain is worst of all,
Or that which comes from another fall.

The pain is like a runaway fire,
A permanent flame under my funeral pyre.

(unfinished)

Backstory

Written after leaving Duke Williams Ward 3/15/17

They say writing in a journal can be cathartic. Writing, they say, will help to ignore the incessant
pain. The phantom pain is the worst. It seems no amount of gabapentin will remove the pain. I haven
t slept in 3 days, not due to mania, but due to pain.