Doubt

I was confident in my choice,
“A stupid idea,” I heard my wife’s voice.
I asked why she thought my idea so bad,
She said no good idea came from someone so mad.

Her constant litany was I would always fail,
So why, I asked, do you not just bail?
I never understood her lack of devotion,
She was right, around me there was always commotion.

Being insane is not a choice I made,
Black and white choices are now nothing but shade.
I was driven to want to end my life,
By the woman I chose, my darling wife.

My thoughts I doubted for 20 years,
My demented mind added to my fears.
Always spiraling further downward,
No more belief, my mind was blurred.

Do I doubt myself forever, I said?
Your beratement was merely poison I was fed.
I finally understand your words have no clout,
Instead, I’ve learned to doubt the doubt.