Life is Wrong

Copyright ©1994 John Wm Beckner - All Rights Reserved

Life is wrong because it FEELS wrong
Impossible to continue yet I MUST
Crushing my chest, the great KING KONG
Must WORK, can’t WORK, life’s not JUST

MaNiC but depressed at the SAME time
STRESS, the PAIN, will not ABATE
A pit, recessed, I’ll never CLIMB

Yet drugs I never DO anymore
Voices LOUD I must IGNORE
In me I abhor, in God I TRUST

So HARD to go on, yet I WILL
But WHY I ask, when it is so BAD
Call from the grave with voice so SHRILL
Deluded, they say, I’m completely MAD

The CHILDREN need me to go on
Another day the world to ignore
Go on I will, with FACE so drawn
HELP me please I do implore

I was wrong, no need to move forward
Stagnate here, life’s a cesspool
Hammers abound, my brain to bombard
Such is my life, I’m just a FOOL


I wrote this on my first day in the state mental institution, committed there after attempting
suicide while a patient in a hospital psych center. They had me heavily tranquilized and were
experimenting with my meds, including stopping my bipolar meds. So, lots of confusion expressed in
this poem.